Self-Sabotage: Why We Do It (Even When We Know Better)

Let’s be honest — we say we love growth. We make vision boards, set stretch goals, maybe even post the occasional inspirational quote. But when the moment comes to step out of our comfort zones? That’s when things get shaky.

Because growth — real growth — is uncomfortable. And the moment we start to stretch, push, or show up in a new way, guess who comes knocking?

Self-sabotage.

What Self-Sabotage Actually Looks Like

It’s not always dramatic. Sometimes it's as quiet as:

• Suddenly getting really busy with non-essentials.

• Over-prepping instead of launching.

• Talking yourself out of a great idea with logic that sounds smart… but is actually fear in disguise.

I’ve done it. I’ve lived it — especially in my first business. Things were going brilliantly… until someone approached me and offered to buy it. Instead of seeing the opportunity, my brain screamed: “They want the systems, not you!” I felt rejected, spiraled, and ended up walking away when I could have sold and moved forward. That was self-sabotage — served with a side of unconscious belief.

And that experience taught me something huge: your personality type plays a massive role in how and when you self-sabotage.

Personality + Self-Sabotage: The 4 Archetypes

Over the years, I’ve seen these four archetypes show up again and again in my clients (and myself!). Each has its strengths. But under pressure, each can lean into sabotage in a different way.

1. The Achiever

You’re driven, focused, high-performing. But you tie your worth to outcomes. So if you fear you might fail… you stall. Or work yourself into burnout proving you're "good enough."

Sabotage sign: You overcommit, then spiral when it’s not all perfect.

2. The Visionary

You’ve got big dreams and ideas. You see the big picture with ease. But the nitty-gritty? The step-by-step? That can feel like a drag — so you resist structure or delay implementation.

Sabotage sign: You live in the future… and get stuck in “one day.”

3. The Grounded Thinker

You’re practical, thorough, and brilliant at seeing risks. But your natural caution can slide into overthinking and fear of making the wrong move.

Sabotage sign: You plan endlessly… and don’t press ‘go.’

4. The Strategist

You’re analytical and efficient. You love solving problems and streamlining. But you can default to playing safe — because why shake things up if they’re working?

Sabotage sign: You shrink your goals to what feels manageable instead of what’s meaningful.

Recognise yourself in one (or maybe a blend)? You’re not alone. These patterns are so common — especially when you’re at a growth edge.

The Role of Beliefs

Add in your unconscious beliefs, and you’ve got a recipe for sabotage without even realising it. Beliefs like:

• “Success is selfish.”

• “If I’m seen, I’ll be judged.”

• “If I grow, I’ll lose control.”

These are often running in the background, totally undetected — until something triggers them. That’s why self-awareness is your greatest growth tool.

Try journaling on:

• Where might I be getting in my own way right now?

• What am I telling myself about what’s possible?

• Is this really a strategic decision… or is it fear dressed up as logic?

How to Shift It

1. Awareness - Notice the pattern. Get honest — kindly.

2. Acceptance - No judgement, no shame. Just: “Okay, this is what’s happening right now.”

3. Aligned Action - Then ask: What’s one small next step that feels doable and true to who I am?

   Bonus points if that step aligns with your genius zone — that beautiful space where your strengths feel effortless and energising.

Final Thought

Self-sabotage isn’t failure. It’s just feedback.It’s often your mind trying to keep you “safe” from change, risk, or visibility. But you’re not here to play safe. You’re here to play aligned.

If this resonated and you want to go deeper into how your personality influences your patterns, I’ve got more coming soon — including a free quiz, workshops, and group sessions.

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Here’s to doing the work, ditching the pressure, and growing — the Imperfectly Perfect way.

And if you're ready to stop circling the same block then let’s have a conversation. No pressure, no pushy sales vibes — just 30 minutes to see what’s really going on and what would make the biggest difference for you.

👉 Book a Call Here

If we’re a good fit, amazing. If not, you’ll still walk away with clarity. Either way, it’s a powerful step forward. You don’t have to navigate this alone. And you don’t have to be perfect before you get support.